And Then The Universe Blew Up
by GregTH. The Eleventh Espada
Summary: To put it blunt, this is why Ulquiorra Never Smiles...and Grimmjow, Nnoitra & Ichigo learn that the hard way


This is my third and hopefully final time uploading this, It keeps saying "Cannot Locate story with id. etc etc"

* * *

"Come on, Smile!" Grimmjow pleaded

"Do it!" Nnoitra threatened

"Come on!" Ichigo joined in

_Ulquiorra let out a sigh of exhaustion, Apparently his emotionless facade could not continue anymore, and thus three figures stood in front of him, trying to get him to crack a smile, _

_Grimmjow; The Sexta Espada_

_Nnoitra; The Quinta Espada_

_And The Substitute Shinigami, Ichigo Kurosaki_

_Why and __**How **__was Ichigo there, you ask?_

_Fuck you, that's how_

"Cease" Ulquiorra moaned "It will not give in, I refuse"

"Come on!" Nnoitra roared "You gotta have some emotions!"

"You're one to talk Nnoitra, you only have two emotions, Hungry and Horny, if you don't have an erection then you're making a sandwich" Ulquiorra noted

"S-Shut up!" The Spoony 'spada stuttered

"Come on Ulquiorra" Grimmjow groaned "I haven't seen you smile since the the 2007 New Years Party, You had a party hat and everything, It was great fun!"

"I'll have you know that I have changed since that night" Ulquiorra informed him "_You _haven't"

"I'll have you know that I learned many things on that night" Grimmjow accused "For instance. Never, under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

…

"That's Gross Dude…" Ichigo pointed out

"Ahh the 2007 New Years Party" Nnoitra sighed in Nostalgia "That was the night that I hooked up with Harribel"

"Oh yeah, that's right" Grimmjow remembered, slamming his fist into his hand for emphasis "What happened between you and Harribel anyway?"

"She faked it…" Nnoitra choked back a sob

"...An orgasm?" Ichigo asked

"The Relationship" Nnoitra sobbed as he hung his head low, he proceeded to wipe his tears away until Ichigo had to run into the other room to a another box of Kleenex's. "The Bitch only used me for the sex!"

...

"Any~way...back to the-"

"**I GAVE YOU MY HEART YOU BITCH!**"

"Yes, Yes, We're done with that." Grimmjow waved his hand as Ichigo held a sobbing Nnoitra before he turned his attention back to Ulquiorra "We're bored as shit and we're not leaving until you crack a smile"

"Why?"

"For the LULZ" Nnoitra explained as regained his composture

"Your stupidity is almost as big as Grimmjow's ego" Ulquiorra noted

"I don't have a big ego, I'm too cool for that" The Blue haired Arrancar scoffed

"Is this what you guys do for fun around here?" Ichigo asked, changing the subject

"Pretty much" Grimmjow shrugged "Even since the one working Computer in Las Noches broke"

"Oh yeah…" Nnoitra remembered "What happened to that computer anyway?"

"It Beat Grimmjow in a game of Chess" Ulquiorra explained "But when they faced each other again, it was no match for him"

"Grimmjow beat the computer at Chess?" Ichigo asked

"No, Kickboxing"

"You're crazy" Ichigo groaned

"I demand a second opinion" Grimmjow said in a huff

"Okay, you're ugly too"

"Bitch!" Grimmjow gasped

"Fine"

…

"Whuh?" Grimmjow asked as the three turned towards the pale Arrancar

"Seeing as how you won't leave until I go through with this, the sooner I get it done the better" Ulquiorra noted

"Y-You're going to smile?" Ichigo asked

"It may take some time" Ulquiorra explained

"We've got time" All three of them

"Seriously, the muscles in my face will need time to adjust" he explained "What if some Shinigami appear in that time?"

"_Pizza _gets here quicker than Shinigami do" Grimmjow scoffed

"Come on" Ichigo moaned "Just get on with it"

"Why should I take orders from you?" Ulquiorra asked "You _are _a Shinigami"

"Trust me" Ichigo pleaded

"I don't trust anything that has a hole blasted through their chest and doesn't die"

"Hey, That was y_our _fault!" Ichigo declared, pointing at him to emphasise

"Get on with it!" Grimmjow yelled

"Hey, I was talking!" Ichigo yelled

"And I'm interrupting!" Grimmjow yelled back

"Don't argue with Grimmjow kid, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience" Nnoitra sighed

_The Corners of Ulquiorra's mouth began to twitch, the corners began to slowly bend upwards_

_*Creeeee~eeek*_

_The sound of Ulquiorra's mouth upwards moving was like Nails to a Blackboard, It caused the three to cringe…_

"What's up with the muscles in your face?" Ichigo asked as he and Grimmjow bickering ceased

"They're adjusting" Ulquiorra explained through his teeth "I told you it will take some time"

_1 HOUR LATER_

"I'M FUCKING BORED!" Nnoitra roared

"I always knew I'd die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandpa…not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his bus" Ichigo yawned as he laid on the floor of Las Noches

"2573 bottles of beer on the wall, 2573 bottles of beer" Grimmjow sang "Take one 'round, pass it round, 25-"

"My muscles have adjusted" Ulquiorra interrupted

"Finally!" Nnoitra sighed as he and the others stood in front of the Arrancar

_The familiar creaking sound emitted from the mouth of the Arrancar, his lips seemed to twitch along with his eyelids, you'd think he was having a seizure…_

_But finally one corner began to upright and soon the other followed, and before they knew it, _

_Ulquiorra Schiffer was smiling _

…

_AND IT WAS FUCKING TERRIFYING _

_The *smile* showed off his sharp, vampire-esc teeth, his eyes and the remainder of his face remained still as his mouth formed whatever grotesque excuse for a smile that was_

_But most of all, the thing that was the most terrifying _

_Was that they __**knew **__something was about to go wrong_

"You ever get the feeling something really bad is about to-"

_**WHOOOOSH!**_

_A Bright white light suddenly filled the room, it was like a miniature nuclear device had gone off and they went trying to maintain their stance_

"What have we done!" Nnoitra yelled

_Suddenly, Szayel jumped into the room_

"You Fools! You've Messed with the Natural Order!"

_And Then He left_

…

_Seriously, he just turned around and left_

_He invaded the room suddenly and then just left_

_Who did he think he was? The Spanish Inquisition?_

"Reality is falling apart!" Grimmjow screamed

"What's gonna happen to us?" Ichigo also screamed

"I don't know, But I'm gonna hold you tight and never let go!" Grimmjow shouted as he wrapped the Orange haired boy in a warm embrace

"I Love you Grimmjow!" he sobbed

…

"What?"

"What about me?" Nnoitra yelled

"Eh…You'll be fine" Grimmjow said with a blank expression

_And then, the light consumed everything_

_

* * *

_

_Ichigo felt himself awaken, he sighed in relief as he sat up, It was all a dream…_

_Oop, No it wasn't_

_As he stood up, he noticed the changes to his physical form_

_He was blond, had strange whisker marks on his face and wore an orange jumpsuit _

_As his two companions awoke, He noticed Grimmjow wore White shots, a blue T-Shirt with a picture of a fan on the back of it and had his blue hair styled like a pigeons backside_

_Ulquiorra wore a dress and had long pink hair_

…

_'Nuff Said Really_

As the two Arrancar stood up, they too noticed the changes with their physical form, the two stared at each other like the other was a dead puppy before Ulquiorra creaked his head towards Ichigo

"I Blame you"

"How is it my fault?" Ichigo snapped

"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you"

"Hey, you three" Came a voice from the window, They turned around and saw a strange looking, silver-haired man with a face mask leaning on the windowsill "You should get a move on, the preliminaries for The Chunin exam are in less than an hour"

"G-Got it" Grimmjow stuttered

_And with that, the silver haired man departed, and the three proceeded to leave the apartment _

"Okay here's the deal" Ichigo said as they walked down the path to the Village gates "We keep walking, we never head back and we never talk about this again"

"Yup" Grimmjow nodded

"Uh huh" Ulquiorra agreed

…

…

...

"You look kinda nice with Pink hair"

"DO NOT WANT"

* * *

If you realised that this is based on a Billy & Mandy Episode...Well done *Claps*


End file.
